Well it’s 4am and I’m steaming. STEAMING! I’ve just unluckily busted out of the $340 Terminator No Limit Holdem event in a hand for close to the tournament chip lead, with 37 players remaining. The best part is that we weren’t even in the money yet. FFS.

The day started at 12pm for another of the $125 No Limit Holdem events, and to be honest right now, I’m so steamed about tonight, that I can’t really remember the details of the earlier tournament. I remember I struggled to find cards, and being 11-handed its also difficult to find good spots, yet when the antes kicked in I was able to chip up nicely for the third straight tournament. The stinging hand was when I raised with T8o from mid-late position and got one call from a chick in the small blind. Flop T98. She leads for 6,000 with less than that behind, so I move all in and she calls with QT. Jack on the turn to give her a straight and I go from potentially having a 50k stack to being back to familiar 10BB territory. Soon after I shove 8BBs with KQo and the big blind wakes up with aces. Busto about 90th out of 257.

At the time I had a chronic migraine and I wasn’t sure if I’d play tonight. But I went home and took some painkillers and had a lay down, and felt nice and recharged for a long night ahead. If I was a little sleepy when I sat down, I was quickly awoken by my opening table. It was totally different to the passive tables I’ve had in the smaller events. I had Andy Meldrum, Jim Sachinidis and Nali Kaselias that I recognized, but it was quickly obvious the others were regulars. Third hand in and I pick up tens in the small blind. There were a few limpers, and then a raise to 350 from a guy in the cutoff who I didn’t recognize but later found out was a local named Tony Bennett. The button called, and I squeezed pretty hefty to 1,500. It folded to Tony who quickly announced a re-raise to 3,350 as the button folded. This re-raise was obviously a little suss, but it wasn’t too much extra to call and try and spike a ten. The flop was 2-4-5 which looked pretty good to me. I checked and Tony insta-fired full pot for 7,000. Argh! I was very close to getting it all in, and if he had the big pair then sobeit. Then e started talking and saying that my jacks were no good and then he called the clock after barely a minute. It really felt like he wanted me to fold, but it was so early, we had so many chips and I knew nothing about him or his style. So I folded my tens. The cocksucker then flashed 97o. WTF?

So I’ve lost a chunk and I’m tilted three hands in. Awesome. Fortunately Tony didn’t know how to change gears. He tried another bluff on me with ten-high and I picked him off with A-J on a KJxxx board. I then limped UTG for 100 with pocket nines and called a raise to 500 with three others. Flop was nine-high and after check-calling the flop, we get it in on the turn and he flips pocket jacks and I double through. A few hands later I have AJ in a limped pot in the BB and its checked around on a KQ9 flop. Turn is gin when a ten lands and the small blind leads for 400. I make it 1,175 and get two callers. River bricks, and I fired slightly over pot for 4,000, knowing that a lone jack has to pay me off everytime, and he did. The other guy folded pocket nines - nice flop check sir.

So I hated my table but had got myself up to about 35k pretty quickly. I then held on for a level or two until we broke. My new table was way softer and I liked it a LOT more, but nothing went right. I misplayed AQ and called a river bet on a QJ98x board, thinking that he either had the ten or was bluffing. He had J9. Sigh. Then against the same guy I call him down with K9 on a king-high board and he flips KT. I then fire at a nine-high flop with T9 and get re-raised. I folded and he said he had a set. I then get into a limped pot in position with 6c 4c and hit a 6h 4h 3c flop. It’s checked to me and I fire 1,200 for 2/3 of the pot. Two callers. Turn is a 3s. It’s checked to me and I put them on a draw and bet full pot, 4,500. One caller. River is the Kd. We both check and he flips over Kh 7h for a draw that rivered a better two pair. Fuck off.

I then slowly slip back but remain very patient since there were no antes in this event which meant there was no bleeding of chips, no reason to panic, and no dead money to fight for. I then finaly pick up a real hand with pocket kings and raise to 2,000 at the 400/800 level. The maniac to my left flat-called, before a solid TAG bumped it to 7,500. I don’t know this guy, but I’ve played with him a few times and I think he has a very solid game. I think he’s always got a hand here, so I move in for another 9,600 on top. Maniac folds and TAG tanks. He asks me a few questions which I ignore, and he tells me I look very calm. I was wearing my sunglasses tonight for the first time and I must say, they are helpful when you’re all in and someone is trying to stare you down. He eventually calls with pocket deuces which is about the complete low-end of his range there. The board bricks and suddenly I’m back over 30k again.

We then go on break and first hand after the break I pick up AK in the big blind at 500/1000. One limper and an old guy shoved all in for 18k. He’d done this weird overbet-shove a few times, and probably had a decent hand, but I figured I’m probably racing or in great shape so I called and he flipped AT. The board bricked again and suddenly I was up over 55k and flying!

One orbit later and I’m in the BB with pocket deuces. The maniac raised to 2.5k UTG and got one call, I called for set value and spiked it on the JT2 flop. Action checked around. Turn was a repeat jack to give me a full house. I checked and maniac bet 2,500. The third player, who was pretty tight, raised to 6,500. I re-raised to 14,000, maniac folded, other guy moved all in for 31k and I called. While I didn’t exactly have the nuts, and he was pretty tight, I’m never considering folding there in a live donkament, ever, but he turned over pocket tens for the bigger full house. Fuck off. If I win that then I’m up over 80k, but instead deuces fuck me up the ass for the second time this week and I was back to 22k.

I again tighten up and try to find a good spot to double. There are about 70 players left and I get moved to a new table and pick up 77 in the BB once again. With the blinds at 1k/2k, a short-stack raised UTG and I moved all in for around 10BBs. It wasn’t ideal but a pairs a pair and with 10BBs, it was good enough to gamble. He called with KQ and I hit a set on the flop to win the race and give myself some breathing room.

From there I stayed tight and found a few good spots to move in and take down the blinds to maintain my stack. Then a hand came up where a loose guy limped UTG for 3k and I shipped all in for 38k from mid-position with pocket jacks. The guy to my left then cringed before he moved all in over the top for a little more. A couple of guys asked for counts so there was a little confusion with chips out on the table, but UTG eventually folded pocket nines. The guy to my left showed pocket eights and the board bricked out, although a nine does spike the river, so if UTG had’ve called, then I would’ve been cruelly eliminated.

Then something weird happened. The guy to my left walked from the table and I say to him “I think you still have some change left,” since we’d already counted out his stack. He says “Nah you got me,” and the dealer also confirmed to me “You have him covered”. I say “Are you sure? You might want to check that…” and the dealer again replied “No, you have him covered”. Ok so at this point what do I do? If it was a normal tournament I would once again point out the error and make sure the guy gets his change. However this was a Terminator (bounty) tournament, so his scalp was worth $100 cash to me. I had asked them both twice to check and they both ignored me. So at that point I ignored my conscious, and stretched out my arms to rake in the chips. If you want to do the math to confirm, small blind = 1,500, big blind = 3,000, UTG limp = 3,000, I shove 38,000. Somehow I ended the hand with 92,000. He should’ve had 8,500 in change.

Maybe Karma is indeed a bitch. I shouldn’t blame Karma, as I am content that I did ask them to check the counts twice. I shouldn’t have to ask three times. But Karma obviously thought differently. After taking down a raised pot with pocket queens, I got myself to around 100,000 with 38 players to go. With a limp from a ridiculously bad player, I limped along with pocket deuces on the button. The small and big blind called and we took a flop of Ks 5d 2s. In a heartbeat the small blind announced he was all in (for 53,000 into a pot of 12,000, wp) and amazingly the retard insta-called!!! I immediately shipped in for 95,500, thinking that the retard couldn’t possibly fold. He then tanked for ages, (after insta-calling 53k, he tanked for 42.5k more, omfg), and I was convinced it was very, very likely they both had a king and I had them both virtually drawing dead. I could smell a 250k stack approaching the cash!

Perhaps I should’ve called the clock, to put more pressure on him to fold, but I honestly thought he could be very, very dead and I wanted him to call. After a few minutes he shouts out “call” and we have a pot for the tournament chip lead. I show my set, small blind tables KQo and the retard reveals the only hand I don’t want to see - the Qs 9s for a bare flush draw. He’s called off 100k with a bare flush draw. OMFG. Of course, the turn was the As to complete his flush and I couldn’t pair the board on the river. Busted in 37th place, with three terminator buttons for a $300 return. So disgusting. Words simply cannot describe the incredible level of retardation that this spastic had displayed in this hand.  I can’t believe that I can cop some of the beats and rough luck that I have this week, and still go as deep as I have. Soon the luck is going to turn, so you retards better watch the fuck out, because you’re going to be in deep shit. I’m no set, no fkn bet, you spastics.

Night.

So today was the opening event of the Joe Hachem Deep Stack Series and I admit I was a little excited.  Cheap buy-ins, great start banks and decent structures, only problem is that no matter how you sugar-coat it, live poker is still retarded.

Today was a pretty horrible day, and it’s pretty incredible that I actually lasted as long as I did.  It started off well, and in fact my best level was the first one of the day.   With a 15k start bank, I was happy to speculate early, so with a raise and call in front, I came along for the ride in position with 7d 9d.  The flop was a big one as it fell 4d 8d 7c.  The original raisor led out for 200, before the caller (who was the most aggro player at the table) popped it to 625.  I was now in a kinda weird spot.  I loved the flop and my hand, but with a bet and raise in front, I had to think for a moment about my next move as it was still the first orbit of the day.  A flat-call was strong, but still weak, so I decided it was super-strong to raise, so I made it 1,500.  They both folded, so a decent result and good for my image.  A few hands later I flat-called a raise to 225 in position with Ah Qh, and flopped a flush draw.  My opponent fired 350 and I called, before I picked up a gutshot draw on the turn.  He fired again for 650, and this time I raised it up to 1,600.  He let it go and I’d taken down another nice pot with some aggression.

From there, I remained tight before losing the chips back in a bit of a strange hand.  Action folded to me and I raised to 300 on the button with Qh Jd.  The small blind appeared a TAG and he raised small to 700.  I can’t fold for that pissy raise, so I called to see a Jh 9s 3c flop.  My opponent led for 1,100 and I raised to 2,800.  Pretty standard I felt, but my opponent then declared himself all in!  It was a big raise, and I figured I don’t really beat anything so I quickly folded.  My guess is he got a little excited with a big pair.

My table broke and I got moved to another table of randoms.  I won a small pot with A-Q after calling a river bet with ace-high to beat an opponent’s queen-high, before another weird hand.  At 75/150 and with three limpers in front, I decided to keep the aggression up and raised to 1,050 with the mighty 8h 3h from the cutoff.  Punish the limpers!  It would’ve worked, but the player on the button over-called as everyone else folded.  The flop was K-5-4 and I took a stab for 1,250.  The villian called and I gave up.  We checked down the bricks on the turn and river.  “You win,” I said, but my opponent didn’t move.  I wasn’t going to show my 8h 3h and was confident my eight-high was beat so I open-mucked.  “I’ll show you anyway,” spat my opponent and he flipped As Qs for ace-high.  Nice calling sir.  “I should’ve kept firing!” I joked.  “I would’ve called!” he replied.  Awesome.

I then tightened up and tried to find a good spot to strike.  It came in a raised pot on a 5d 4h 2d flop when I was holding pocket deuces.  The big blind led out for 1,000 and I decided to flat call to try and bring in the original raisor, and another preflop caller, but they both folded.  Heads-up to the 8c turn and my opponent fired 3,500.  It was a solid bet, but it left me with a decision.  I had roughly 12k in my stackm which made bet-sizing a little tricky.  I was trying to figure out the best way to get all of my chips into the middle.  I wasn’t particularly worried about the straight draws, as it was a raised pot and it was more likely my opponent had an overpair, but I wanted to raise to protect my hand.  However I felt a shove might scare him off and a small raise would just look too suss as it was committing so much of my stack.  In the end I decided the most deceptive option was to call, knowing that if my opponent bet a river brick, he was committed to call my all-in shove.  There weren’t many rivers that would be a worry, but the 6h was one of them as now any three or seven made a straight.  My opponent bet 4,000 and raising was no longer an option.  I flat-called again (yes I flat-called three streets with a set, yuk) and he flipped pocket fours for a bigget set.  My passive line had saved me my tournament.

I was down to around 4,000 with the blinds at 150/300/25.  So much for deep-stacked poker!  Fortunately I found a double up with pocket aces against pocket nines, but an orbit or two of folding and the blinds jumped again to still leave me hovering around 12BBs.  I then copped a pretty demoralizing blow when I completed from the small blind with K-9 with four limpers and spiked gin with a K-K-9 flop.  We checked around to the button who bet 1,000.  I called, hoping for a few more customers and only found one.  Then the turn was a sick 9.  Now I chop with any king.  We checked around again and an ace hit the river.  I moved my last 3,500 into the middle and found a call from K5.  So sick.  He was drawing dead to a chop on the flop.  Gross.  I wasn’t happy but luckily soon after I got the double ups that I needed as I picked up AK twice and doubled both times, once through KT and another eliminating a guy holding AJ.

Suddenly I was up over 20k and back in decent shape when I got moved to a new table.  It was significantly tougher as I recognized some faces for the first time.  David Zhao is a very talented young player who was four to my right, and Australian poker legend Leo Boxell was two to my left.  To make things more fun, I had the tournament chip leader with 170k on my direct right.

I only had to wait two hands for the 800/1600/100 blinds to reach me and get amongst the action.  A player under the gun moved all in for around 8,500 chips and it folded to me in the big blind.  I look down at A-Q.  I guess it’s kind of marginal, but online I’m way ahead of the range of an UTG-shove for 5BBs.  Maybe live, it’s a little closer, but he flipped K-J and I was in front.  That is, until a king spiked on the turn.  If I win that I’m up over 30,000, but instead I’m down to under 13,000 and in trouble once again.

I folded a few hands until I’m in the hijack.  The big blind was nit of the century from my previous table, so I felt it was a great spot to steal from with ATC with my 8BB stack.  I peaked at the Ad and that was enough for me to shove.  The button isolated and flipped As Qs as I squeezed out the rather disappointing 5s as my kicker.  No three-outer and I was out the door, middle of the pack.

A very rough day, but I guess there’s some light to come out of it.  I should’ve been busted with set over set, and despite being down to 10BBs very early in a deep-stacked tourney, I managed to recover and claw my way back.  A little luck at the right time, and I would’ve been a chance to progress deeper.

Not to worry, there’s always another day!  There’s some great tournaments coming up, and the decision is which tournaments to play!  Tomorrow is a big online poker day so I’m contemplating whether to make a big Monday morning assault or tackle the live vultures once again.

After the PokerNews Cup the next big event on the poker calendar was the PokerStars APPT event in Auckland. I’d never been to New Zealand before so I was looking forward to the trip. Our team worked well together and there were some nice short days so we got to enjoy a bit of Auckland. It was GG’s birthday so we found a nice bar with a live band to chill the night away, before a pretty awesome player’s party closed off the week.

I think the Tony Dunst video says it all…

The New Zealand people were ridiculously friendly. Perhaps the most friendly of any country that I’ve ever been to (Fiji a close second). SKYCITY Auckland Casino were a great host, and looked after players and media alike. The poker room is very pleasant with plenty of room between tables and windows running down the length of the room to let in some natural light and keep you in touch with the real world outside! Young New Zealander Simon Watt took down the title and was definitely the player to watch after he built up a big stack during Day 2. He’s a young, online gun who will be a player to watch on the local tournament scene in the near future.

I’ve now found my way to Macau for the start of the Asian season. I arrived after a chilly, but mostly safe flight with discount airline Viva Macau. I didn’t have to flap my arms out the window and the most dangerous thing about the flight was pretending not to cry during Marley and Me. Since when did Jennifer Aniston movies become more than a mindless perve?

One good thing about Viva Macau was that we landed right in the heart of Macau, and after a ten minute cab we were at our hotel. No transfers, no ferries, no fuss! Unfortunately some of our friends and colleagues on the same flight two days later wouldn’t have the same fortune as their flight was delayed, then cancelled and they were forced to pay $900 to get on another flight. They kindly get their refund in 6-8 weeks. WP Viva Macau. Please get me home in one piece. One time.

So we spent the first three days at the beautiful Galaxy StarWorld Hotel. Our view was spectacular from the 30^th floor, across downtown Macau and across to the lake. We spent the first few days busily working on finishing the third edition of the PokerNews AU magazine, and sorting out details for the newly announced merger between PokerNews, PokerNetwork and our closest competitor Bluff Australasia. It’s a pretty exciting time as we now have a mega-super power in poker in Australia.

We then had the APT event which ran pretty smoothly, which David Steicke pwned to finish 4th, and of course the infamous APT player party. Held in the Presidential Suite of the Galaxy StarWorld Hotel, it was an incredible night. Before we’d even had time to grab our first beer, we witness two of the most stunning APT models, dressed in nothing but body paint, posing for photos. The suite was awesome and although there were no spa antics this time around (apparently due to the carnage imparted on the room last year), there was still plenty of fun to be had. One memorable moment was being introduced to John Juanda in the queue for the gents and then watch him stagger in, and stumble back out, pissed as a fart.

After an unexpected tiff which left Garry making an early exit, the rest of us ventured over to the infamous D2 nightclub. Not being a fan of nightclubs, I was reluctant to go, but was half interested to see what all the fuss was about. We arrived at the overly-crowded, overly-loud club and I bumped into APPT President Jeffrey Haas within about five minutes who invited me to his VIP booth with 4 bottle of scotch, beers and more sitting on the table. Unable to talk over the fkn loud as hell music, he poured me a scotch…neat. I battled away for a swig or two before grabbing a coke to make the scotch drinking somewhat more enjoyable. It became a whole lot more enjoyable when I found out Saab was paying the tab. Bottoms up! Fruity test tubes of some unknown cocktail followed by shots that resembled chocolate milkshakes and the rest of the evening became a whole lot more blurry. There were rumours of yours truly “carving up the dancefloor”, “shakin what yo mamma gave you”, “work it, work it, oh yeh” but they are unsubstantiated gossip. I recall an overly-aggressive Chinese promo girl wanting to get me up onto the dance floor. When I politely declined, (girlfriend is in the bathroom, got lost in translation) her response was to aggressively grab my wrist and attempt to drag my sorry ass out there herself. This was no flirtatious grab. She was one strong chick (read lady boy). It felt more like she was grabbing me to throw me out, such was her aggression. Short of slapping her in a sleeper hold to get her to calm the fuck down, I held onto the bar with my other hand and rode out the pulling affect until she got bored about five minutes later and left. The good news is that my wing span is now three metres.

The next night I played my first live cash session in god knows how long. Maybe six months. Maybe more. I played 10/20 with Tim and first hand picked up AKo UTG. I raised to 70 and got onehundredandseventyfivemilliontybillion callers, so I check folded on the baby flop. I stacked a guy with pocket kings, and won another nice pot with trip sevens where I got three streets of value town. There are two hands were somewhat interesting. The first was in a seven-way limped pot, I had pocket fives in the small blind and caught a set on a 573 flop. I checked, expecting one of the many limpers to toss something into the middle, allowing me to check-raise. A mistake I guess, but life is never easy OOP right? Everyone checked around of course. Turn was an innocent looking 2. I led out for 100 into 140 and got one caller on the button. River A. The board is rainbow, so I only fear a four. I can’t really put a button limper on many fours, but I can certainly get value from a two pair, esp if he has an ace. So I put out a part blocking, part value bet of 150. If I’m raised, I have to fold, but 150 is cheaper than me check-calling, and allows me to get value from a worse hand that might check behind. He tanked and tanked and muttered something about me having four-six before making a crying call. I assumed I win, and flip my cards. He then turns over Q4. WP. This same guy tanked with a flopped set earlier in the evening against Ducky who had shoved with a straight+flush draw. So sick.

The other interesting spot was in one of the last hands of my night. After two limpers, I’d decided I didn’t want any customers when I looked at AK, so I made it 140. A guy in the small blind then raised to 420. This was a sick spot as this guy had only shown AA and QQ all evening. We were both at around 3,000 deep, so part of me thinks a call is ok. Online I definitely call or four-bet, but I guess live, I had enough of a read on this guy to realise I was either dead or drawing to an three/six outs. I folded and he showed pocket kings.

I ended up HK$940 in front, and then proceeded to lose $1,000 the next night on a fun but retardedly rigged game of three-card Baccarat. GG and I had so many opportunities to crush this game when the dealer would tease us with a 3, 2, 1 or even a 0, but we would show our utter naivety for the supreme skill of this game, and we continually failed to better the dealer’s score. Time, and time, and time, and time again. On our final hand, with it all on the line the dealer pulled a 1. GG pulled 6,3, muthfkn A. I squeezed monkey, monkey, monkey. WP three-card Baccarat dealer. We then jumped over to regular Baccarat, and although I wasn’t playing I was thoroughly entertained by GG taking on random Asian guy in an epic heads-up Baccarat duel. The Asian dude had a tell, he was angry when he had a good hand, and happy when he had a bad hand. So when he looked really upset one time we knew we were in trouble (since GG was always betting on the opposite to this guy). The Asian dude looked down, then looked at us and said “Bye bye!” and flipped natural nine. Slowrolling mutha fucka! From there it was game on, and GG was steaming after losing around 4k but he got back to square and we moved on.

We’ve now jumped over to the Sofitel Hotel and are working at the Grand Lisboa Casino for the APPT Macau event. I guess you are wondering why I have actually updated this blog. Well it’s simple. Swine flu. A few days ago I picked up some nasty virus, origins unknown, and have been in quarantine. From states of eyeball-rolling hazes, to supreme sweats, to earth-shattering chills, the last three days have had it all, but it’s given me a chance to finally update this blog! The bad news for readers is that I’ve shaken off the worst of it, and expect to be back at work again tomorrow. Unfortunately I don’t get sick often, so stay tuned for the next update!

My time has been soooooo insanely busy at the WSOP that I just haven’t had time to update this blog recently. I then had the following conversattion with one of my poker buddies and fellow PokerNews bloggers, Tim “The Nizzles” Duckworth…

Him: ”Can you please update your blog . . . it’s been nearly a month”
Me: “You really think I have time?”
Him: “Well, either way, I have nothing to read”
Me: “Why don’t you write something for me then”
Him: “Ahhh . . . ok”

So here it is…straight from the duck’s mouth….I present the nizzles…

So here I am at 2am in the morning after being asked to be a guest writer on Tassie Devil Poker and make the first (and very belated) entry since the World Series of Poker kicked off and the Devil himself captured second at the ANZPT.net Melbourne Main Event.

After arriving in Las Vegas just under three weeks ago we both expected to be hitting the felt a bit while tackling the computer from the media row . . . however that hasn’t been the case.

I’ve only played a handful of sessions, while I don’t think TassieDevil has even touched a card or handled a chip . . . and when you’re six figures richer it probably pays to put some time to run it up one time!

The main reason why, is that the scheduling hasn’t been on the healthy side for him. Mixed events that stretch to the 3am cut off on day two are the norm, with day three starts starting earlier then expected. Basically his schedule seems to be Work – Sleep – Work – Sleep – Work – Sleep and maybe if he’s lucky he gets a chance to put his feet up to do more work for other projects such as PokerNetwork.

Let’s not to mention the problem we experienced over the first two weeks with commuting to the Rio everyday for work. With people grouped together in housing, you would think it would be wise to schedule them on similar events so that car-pooling was easier – however this was not the case until recently.

On most occasions catching a cab was a necessity, and the cost of these start to build up once you factor in the tip. $30 later you’re at work but then you have the issue of the return leg. To hear more about the dilemmas experienced you really need to hear the Devil’s side of things . . . very amusing . . . well, that’s if you like hearing stories of difficulties, tilt-inducing acts and utter grumpiness!

The downs are always paralleled with the ups – and at this World Series there have been plenty!

Phil Ivey capturing two bracelets along with Australian Jeff Lisandro capturing two Seven Card Stud bracelets to go along with his one in 2007. Two females making a No Limit Holdem final table with one going on to finish third and of course one of the most anticipated prop bets of all time with Jeff Lisandro and Barry Greenstein battling Daniel Negreanu and Erick Lindgren for most Player of the Year points for who knows how many millions!

Phil Hellmuth explosions have become standard, hearing the Star Spangled Banner played nearly everyday to celebrate a native capturing a bracelet and seeing the thousands of American’s stand up, hand on heart like they were out in the middle of Fenway Park!

Finally the trick to looking like a balla . . . take a wad of $1 bills, place a $100 bill on the outside and wrap it tightly with a Las Vegas money clip of a rubber band. Deep down you know it’s basically a stripper-roll, but to the non-observant folk you might just appear to be the next online millionaire whiz kid or the cash game grinder that plays 24/7 or just the next random to walk away with a bracelet, hundreds of thousands of dollars and a fading memory in the many chapters of the WSOP history books.